This blog is in response (my own personal reflections) to a recent talk of the same name given by Chris Brady, the 2011, number 12 leadership guru.

One of the biggest challenges you will face when taking on a leadership role, is the somewhat dichotomous behavior you must display towards others and the outside world.  A leader on one hand must have THICK SKIN or the ability to handle the slings and arrows, the rejections or the other tribulations that come with leading.  Once a vision has been cast a leader will surely evoke opposition from external forces and at times from its own close support group or following.  On the other hand, a leader must have a SOFT HEART, or the ability to care, empathetically listen and truly seek first to understand to allow decisions of discernment to be made.

Leaders such as Abraham Lincoln, Harland “Colonel” Sanders and Steve Jobs have publically shown how having THICK SKIN is a prerequisite for leadership.  These men among many other historical leaders had to endure countless failures and rejections before being able to actualize their vision and their dreams.  I believe this resolve or THICK SKIN comes from as Steven Covey puts it strong “Character Ethic” or a principled based center.  This strong unchanging core based on values allows a leader to weather the storms.  There is no doubt that Winston Churchill had THICK SKIN when he stood up to Nazi Germany and the Axis powers.  Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook had to keep his helmet on when the war over the social empire began.   And, when the founding fathers opposed English tyranny they knew the price was death.

A SOFT HEART does not necessary mean that leaders must cry at the movies but it does mean that they must care about their cause as well as be passionate about it and the people they are serving.  The ability to empathetically listen and seek first to understand goes back to Covey’s principle based center.  The leader that allows themselves to be influenced will gain more influence and moves from transactional to transformational leadership.  “When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air, and after that vital need is met, you can then focus on influencing or problem solving.” – 7 Habits.  This is not to be confused with sympathy which tends to make others dependent and erodes the leadership paradigm.  Toyota rose to dominance by listening to their suppliers and fostering a leadership/learning culture.  Ronald Regan won the presidency by taking a people approach.  And if we have learned anything from modern media, the companies that have a service centered customer focus, will dominate the information age.

The most successful leaders rather they are in business, government or in the home, will learn to manage a consistent balance of consideration and courage.