We all need a little ego suicide some time.  It helps to remember that everyone you meet has unique qualities and is better than you at something.  On the flip side if self-esteem is suffering, it is good to remember the same of yourself.  Humility, patience and balanced self-talk will help keep this in perspective when interacting with others.  This is particularly true for people you will potentially be leading.

Leadership differs from management in the sense that leaders don’t give orders they serve people.  They set the example and create the model for the culture they are in.  Many times leadership and management go hand in hand but it is important to understand the difference between the two.  An effective leader must set their ego aside for the good of the organization they are serving in.  Managers however wield positional authority and must maintain a certain level of ego in order to effectively delegate, instruct and reprimand.

It is also important that the leader always accept responsibility and give credit where due.  Taking responsibility is one of the basic building blocks to becoming a leader.  A leader must take responsibility for the good, the bad and the ugly regardless if they created the circumstances or not.  Taking responsibility builds character and thick skin, two of the other foundational qualities of a leader.

“Winning” in any endeavor doesn’t necessary mean getting recognition.  However because recognition is one of our basic psychological needs it is not natural to give away all the credit.  It takes maturity, practice and understanding your organization’s needs in order to know when to give or receive credit.  The good news is that if a leader lifts enough people up, his or hers recognition is sure to follow shortly.

Book Title

Authors: Coach John Wooden with Steve Jamison

Genre: Personal Development

Sub-Topics: Motivational, Success, Self-Help

Rating: Good

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Wooden is a wonderfully packaged text full of life’s lessons on leadership, personal development, success and as you might have guessed, basketball.  One of the unique elements of this book is the way that it is laid out, 3 major parts with dozens of short bite sized sections breaking it up.  The cornerstone of this book however is the famous “Wooden Pyramid of Success” which is explained in great detail during part three.

I was able to read this book during plane rides between Phoenix, AZ and Newark, NJ.  It’s a five hour flight each way and between napping, Southwest Airline peanuts and other distractions, I was able to absorb some of Coach Wooden’s wisdom.  With all of the motivational and success literature that is out there, Wooden is worth a read even if you are not really into basketball. However knowing who Bill Walton and Kareem Abdul Jabbar are, adds to the enjoyment and relevance of the anecdotes.  The text is more about personal development, discipline and leadership than anything else.  You will find dozens of “old-time” lessons packed into this book.  Reminders such as these…

• “You can never acquire happiness without giving of yourself to someone else without the expectation of getting something back.”

• “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.  Character is what you really are.  Reputation is what people say you are.”

• “How hard you work at correcting your faults reveals your character.”

Then of course there is Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, something to look at every day.

Coach John Wooden's Pyramid of Success

Wooden is a terrific book, I recommend it to anyone who is a student of personal development and leadership.  And if you are into basketball, you’ll really enjoy the anecdotes and correlations.

To Purchase Wooden Follow the Link Below

Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections on and Off the Court

Book Title: The Magic of Thinking Big

Authors: David J. Schwartz

Genre: Personal Development

Sub-Topics: Motivational, Success Thinking

Rating: Must Read

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Without a doubt in my mind, I can say that this is one of the best books I have ever read.  It is truly a text for thinkers at all levels of success and personal development.  Unlike many books that were written mid-20th century, this work is able to elude the telltale signs that would date it.  Instead it feels rather modern and relevant.  The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz is a timeless classic that everyone should pick up, read through and take vigorous notes on.  Here are a 3 important reasons why…

1 – The Magic of Thinking Big Helps Put Life Into Proper Perspective

From personal belief issues to, excuses surrounding failure and lack of confidence problems; as humans we tend to get caught up in the minutiae of life and miss the big picture.  This is particularly true in how we deal with people and how we “talk” to ourselves.  Schwartz walks through some the mind’s most common trappings and shows us how to overcome these with the proper perspective (correct thinking).  Here is an example of the “impossible” problem.

“When you believe something is impossible, your mind goes to work for you to prove why. But when you believe, really believe, something can be done, your mind goes to work for you and helps you find the ways to do it.” - Chapter 5 > How to Thinking and Dream Creatively

Another great example of perspective – gossip and trash talking won’t help your current situation

“Taking an ax and chopping your neighbor’s furniture to pieces won’t make your furniture look one bit better; and using verbal axes and grenades on another person doesn’t do one thing to make you a better you or me a better me.” – Chapter 7 > Manage Your Environment: Go First Class

2 – The Magic of Thinking Big Helps Develop The Proper Thought Map for Success

Schwartz asserts that thinking is the precursor to success in any endeavor and that this is the most important element to get correct.

“Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches or pounds or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking.  How big we think determines the size of our accomplishments.” – Chapter 4 > How to Think Big

He also shows how attitude, “stickability” and action are far more important than intelligence and knowledge in terms of success in this world.

• The thinking that guides your intelligence is much more important than how much intelligence you may have.
• “Stickability” is 95 percent of ability
• Knowledge is only potential power.  Knowledge is power only when put to use – and then only when the use made of it is constructive.
• The ability to know how to get information is more important than using the mind as a garage for facts

Chapter 2 > Cure Yourself of Excusitis, the Failure Disease

People who get things done in this world don’t wait for the spirit to move them; they move the spirit – Chapter 10 > Get The Action Habit

3 – The Magic of Thinking Big Helps Cultivate Personal & Leadership Development Skills

The book in its entirety is one huge mental overhaul.  It helps the reader to look at gaps or fault cracks in their personal thought map and shows how to develop fixes to correct the issues.  It also outlines how to develop the daily diligence to ensure that the fixes stick and why it is important to continue down the path of personal improvement.

“Traditional thinking is personal enemy number one for the person who is interested in a creative personal success program.  Traditional thinking freezes your mind, blocks your progress, and prevents you from developing creative power.” – Chapter 5 >How To Think And Dream Creatively

“You don’t get a raise on the promise of better performance; you get a raise only by demonstrating better performance.  You can’t harvest money unless you plant the seeds that grow money.  And the seed of money is service.” – Chapter 8 > Make Your Attitudes Your Allies

“Being self-critical is constructive.  It helps you to build the personal strength and efficiency needed for success.  Blaming others is destructive.  You gain absolutely nothing from “proving” that someone else is wrong.” – Chapter 11 > How To Turn Defeat Into Victory

“Normally, people think of investing in terms of stocks or bonds, real estate, or some other type of property.  But the biggest and most rewarding kind of investment is self-investment, purchasing things that build mental power and proficiency.” – Chapter 12 > Use Goals To Help You Grow

There is much more magic to discover in this must read.  You will not be disappointed, and your thinking muscles will thank you.

To Purchase The Magic Of Thinking Big Follow the Link Below

The Magic of Thinking Big

Book Title

Authors: Chris Brady & Orrin Woodward

Genre: Leadership Development

Sub-Topics: Personal Development

Rating: Must Read

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An unbelievable book that brings together many of history’s best writings and case studies to develop a step by step approach to climbing the staircase of leadership.  Brady and Woodward took what John Maxwell and Jim Collins first detailed in some of their most famous works and created a logical and well documented leadership road-map.  Launching a Leadership Revolution is a must have for any current or would be leader that is looking for a guide to greatness in any organization or endeavour.

Launching a Leadership Revolution’s Brand of Leadership

Brady and Woodward start the book with a leadership discussion that walks through what leadership is and what it isn’t.  They give many fitting and would be definitions of leadership.  Due to its allusive nature, defining leadership becomes difficult however Launching a Leadership Revolution (LLR) does a very good job of encapsulating the core themes.

“Leadership is the influence of others in a productive, vision-driven direction and is done through example, conviction, and character of the leader.” – LLR (Brady/Woodward)

The book goes on to discuss that although many people believe leadership is purely an innate ability that only a few are born with, leadership actually involves both an art and and science side.  The art side of leadership being the make-up, passion or abilities innate to the person, while the science side are the process steps or procedures that anyone can learn and master.  The idea is that anyone can asend the steps of leadership influence.

“So the strategy is to cultivate and develop leadership ability within ourselves.  We need to understand that leadership can and must be developed, even for the most “gifted.”  This is done on purpose.  Change is always present, but growth and improvement are optional.  Leadership development is a deliberate process.”

The book then goes on to discuss the foundational qualities of leadership.  As they walk through the book giving the analogy of ascending leadership as taking steps up stairs, they assert that these foundational qualities are necessary to gain entry to the stairwell.

3 Foundational Qualities of Leadership

• Hungry
• Hone-able
• Honorable

LLR then carries on chapter by chapter walking through the Five Levels of Influence (Leadership).  One of my favorite parts of this book and quite possible what makes the concepts stick so well, was how Brady and Woodward gave historical examples towards the end of each chapter to illuminate each level of influence.  From pro football quarterback Tom Brady to the Apostle Paul, they give a real life example of leaders at each step of leadership ladder.  These sections alone are worth reading the entire text.

5 Levels of Influence (Leadership)

1. Learning
2. Performing
3. Leading
4. Developing Leaders
5. Developing Leaders Who Develop Leaders

LLR is a must read book for anyone regardless of where they are at on the leadership journey.  From the person just poking the ideas with a stick to the high powered executive, there is something for everyone in this instant classic on leadership.

To Purchase Launching a Leadership Revolution Follow the Link Below

Launching a Leadership Revolution: Mastering the Five Levels of Influence
 

For those not familiar, the story’s protagonists utilize a concealed blade that thrusts from the inner forearm.  It is typically used when the palm is pushed up against the victim’s body for a silent and stealthy approach.  This allows for action in close quarters without arousing alarm or attention from the target or the people nearby.

The Leader’s “Hidden Blade”

When a leader needs to address a situation with a team member, deliver a lesson to a mentee or simply motivate their organization; unsheathing the sword and causing a messy scene is not always the best option.  This is especially true when the leader may be presenting criticism, redirecting behavior or providing any other type of communication that may be seen as negative or reprimanding.  The hidden blade approach allows the leader to quietly and cautiously handle situations rather they be one-on-one or in an open speaking session.

One of the top approaches in doing this is by asking questions and drawing the person or people in the group out.  Critique is typically far better given and received when we give it to ourselves and when we arrive at conclusions on our own.  Sometimes a series of carefully asked questions leading us down the path is required.  Sure it would be easier for a leader to run up to a team member and say “hey you are doing that wrong” or “you need to do this” however it is not always the most effective method,  nor does it provide the teachable moment that allows us to grow personally.

Double Hidden Blade

Another weapon in the leader’s arsenal is the use of story to prove a point.  As the old saying goes “facts tell, stories sell” and for the leader telling a good instructive story is a strong tool.  This is especially true when it is a personal account that can serve as a either a cautionary tale or one of motivation and direction.  Great leaders learn how to tell great stories in the same sense that they learn how to be great question askers and greater listeners.  A strong instructive story can deliver the same message but in a more powerful and less confrontational way than directly pointing out someone’s weakness or where they messed something up.

The Hook Blade

While the aforementioned methods can be construed as “tactics” or manipulating people skills, they will eventually cease to be effective if the leader is not truly serving the people that are following.  This means the leader must get to know and truly care about their people.  A series of canned questions and repeated stories will fall on deaf ears if the leaders does not care about their team.  People will sniff a false leader out, and only those leaders with character and a desire to serve their team will be able to implement these weapons effectively.

So the next time we think about running into a situation with our sword drawn, ready for war, remember Altair and Ezio.  Sometimes to get “full synchronization” with your team, you are going to have to use your hidden blade.  Lead on brotherhood of leadership assassins!

The lyrics of the song I Was On a Mountain (presented here poetically) by Hot Water Music, encapsulate strong themes about mastery and serves as a cautionary message for those who strive to reach the top.

I was hanging on by a little thread.
Just minutes before I was on a mountain.
I screamed “I can see all.”
The ground broke from the sound.
It was all built on nothing.
The pretty lights down below
Begged me to just let go;
To let myself be condemned;
To start again

I opened up my aching hands.
I went down like an avalanche.
I took with me the things I found.
I used them to help slow me down,
And start again.

Caution: The solid ground that you
are on will slide from under you.

There are many themes and messages to be drawn from this short piece, here are a few I have picked up that serve as a reminder for me on my leadership and personal development journey.

When you are striving for excellence others will ridicule, criticize and oppose you

This is a given; love them anyways and seek first to understand those you care about, whom you know truly care about you.  At the end of the day remember a statue has never been erected to a critic.

What you work hard to build can be taken away overnight

Its a hard thing to stomach but it is a realty.  Companies fold, world class athletes sustain career ending injuries and statesman get ran out of office.  As Frank Bettger says “You only fail when you quit.”

In addition the loss can come from two angles

• Loss can come from something totally outside your control

• Loss can come as a result of complacency or ego

If the loss occurs because of something you cannot control take a brief period to collect yourself then move on.  Dwelling on the past prevents focus on the future.  On the other side of the coin, the way to avoid complacency and ego is to foster the mindset of never arriving.  Once a person feels that they have arrived any type of growth or learning ends.

If you do have to rebuild use what you have learned to do it again but faster

Its been written in many forms; that knowledge, a proper thought map and relationships are the foundation of what truly marks achievement.  While it may take years of deliberate practice to attain these things, it would explain why some CEOs can succeed in any company, why some athletes win regardless of circumstances and why some entrepreneurial millionaires that go broke can build a new empire faster than the length of time a president is in office.

The person you become matters more than the place you end up

Although somewhat philosophical or spiritual, this ties back to the previous point.  Who you become dictates where you will go.

Never Stop Climbing

This train of thought also begs the question of, is there every really a top?  Can we not always continue to progress and grow?  Although perfection may be impossible in this life, striving for it is not.  When you find something you are passionate about, why stop climbing?  Why discontinue to learn, love, lead and live?

5 Ways to Build Confidence and Destroy Fear

1.) Action Cures Fear

As Schwartz puts it “When we face tough problems, we stay mired in the mud until we take action.  Hope is a start.  But hope needs action to win victories.”

2.) Put Only Positive Thoughts In Your Memory Bank

Your mind is a memory bank – deposit and withdraw only positive thoughts  As Schwartz puts it “Negative thoughts produce needless wear and tear on your mental motor.”

3.) Put People in Proper Perspective

Develop an understanding attitude for those who bully you and know that everyone is basically alike.  As Schwartz puts it “If the other fellow is basically like me, there’s no reason to be afraid of him.”

4.) Do What is Right – Listen to Your Conscience

“Doing what’s right is a very practical rule for success.”  -Schwartz

5.)  Exercise Confidence Building Activities

• Sit Up Front– Sitting up front builds confidence (there is nothing inconspicuous about success)
• Make Eye Contact – Avoiding eye contract conveys fear
• Walk Faster – “I’ve got places to go!”
• Speak up – Add to your confidence, be the icebreaker
• Smile Big – “A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeats despondency.”

There are obvious spiritual reasons for this, but lets look at it from a literal sense.  Not to assert that assets, cash flow and residual income are bad things; they are good things from a business and personal standpoint.  However contrary to knowledge, correct thinking and relationships; these material things can be destroyed overnight.  Lawsuits, disasters, divorce, market changes, death and many other causes can eliminate very quickly all the material items that may take years to build.  There are numerous examples of this happening, all the way from the Bible to today.  So how do the most successful rebound quickly from seemingly life ending tragedies?

The most successful people in business, politics, the community, you name it – spend years building the knowledge base, correct thinking patterns and strong relationships that allow them to rebound from tragedy quickly and rebuild in short order.  I believe adding up these items is how you measure the true “net-worth” of an individual.  How you measure the ability of that person to succeed financially.

Book Title

Author: Doug Dickerson

Genre: Leadership Development

Sub-Topics: Personal Development

Rating: Good

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This short 100 page book is packed with so many strong leadership principles and examples that it is well worth reading over and over again.  For those short on time and looking for great reminders and what it takes to be a leader this is a book you should pick up and read.  In the interest of not spoiling the read I will simply provide the table of contents to give you and idea of what you have in store.

Part 1: Borders Within Us (Facing the Challenge of Personal Leadership)

Chapter 1: Passion

Chapter 2: Priorities

Chapter 3: Optimism

Part 2: Borders Around Us (The Blessing of Our Leadership)

Chapter 4: Teamwork

Chapter 5: Attitude

Chapter 6: Authenticity

Part 3: Border That Define Us (The Measure of Our Leadership)

Chapter 7: Loyalty

Chapter 8: Kindness

Chapter 9: Legacy

As you can see the book is written in a very logical format that allows the reader to step through each of the nine elements in turn.  I recommend this as a pocket guide for any aspiring leader.

To Purchase Leaders Without Borders Follow the Link Below

Leaders Without Borders: 9 Essentials for Everyday Leaders

3 of the many reasons why leaders simply can’t afford to complain.

1.) Set the Example – As a leader of any organization, business, family, church or team; members or followers will model the behavior and attitude of the leader. Do you want to work with a group of complaining people? Are they more or less effective in their collective goal or task?

2.) Suck Out the Poison – In order to strengthen the resolve of fulfilling a leadership position and the mission of the team or organization being led, the poison of complaining must be cured. Negative thoughts and words bread negative actions. Leadership is tough enough already.

3.) Be Thankful – We have so much to be thankful for as it is. Stop and think about the many luxuries we have in life, including the opportunity or freedom to lead. If you take a minute to flush out cynicism and bitterness, thinking of these many things to be thankful for will make complaining seem childish, selfish and trivial.

The first step in this elimination process is to immediately discontinue complaining to everyone.  This includes mentors.  Although mentors are there to share struggles with, the leader should learn how to accept responsibility and seek out advice, not seek out a sounding board to bounce complaints off of.

The second step is to begin to limit negative self talk and the “internal complaining” mechanism. This is much more challenging to do as we have less direct physical control over it.  As we begin to limit negative self talk we must face our internal challenges and continually “pull weeds” in our mental garden.  Over time we must strive to catch ourselves earlier and earlier in the negative internal self dialog.

Every great leader in history has struggled with this last step and it is no doubt that it will be a challenge for us on our leadership journey. A great first step in developing this internal catch mechanism is to replace any negative input with positive and add more positive. This includes outlets such as media, what we read, our entertainment, associations and even changing who we spend time with on a daily basis.

This doesn’t mean that we abandon or family, friends and other people that do not have a necessarily positive effect on us right now.  It just means we love them and limit the exposure, especially if they are a critic.  Although these changes may be a tough pill to swallow, we have seen this decision made by many successful leaders in the past.

Large leadership scope will always require large change.